At Home

My only sibling just left my house … and I am already lonely for his company. We don’t see each other very often, since we live in different parts of the country. But it’s not just the infrequency of our visits that make them special. In close families like ours (sometimes with close friends as well) people experience something they seldom feel in the world at large: the sense of being home.

It’s not just the shared memories and experiences that bond us together. It’s how similarly we see the world. How we like the same foods, books, and movies. How we don’t have to put on a mask or change anything about us when we’re together. We’re free to be ourselves, warts and all.

As Frederick Buechner observed, “You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.”

Through our families we pick up thoughts, attitudes, and views about the world at large that we carry with us, whether we are aware of it or not. For good or bad, our first glimpse of ourselves is within the context of a community of people who were family, organically connected to us.

I know some of you didn’t have a positive first-family experience. You didn’t feel free to be yourself there and even now you struggle as you think about spending time with your parents and siblings. As a parent myself, I’m aware of emotional immaturity and sin in my life that kept me from always being a positive influence on my children. As much as I loved them, I sometimes fell short of demonstrating that love in a beneficial way.

But even if our family experiences were disappointing or hurtful, God has ways of redeeming them. He wants to bless us with a new family where we can develop into the people we were created to be.

“It was a happy day for him [God] when he gave us our new lives through the truth of his Word, and we became, as it were, the first children in his new family.” (James 1:18, TLB)

We can find our home in Him.

Maya Angelou writes, “The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” Even the closest human relationships can’t compare to the intimacy we have with God, our Creator. He knew us before we came into the world, and He has watched us develop from the moment of conception to now. He knows us intimately – in ways we don’t even know ourselves.

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me … you are familiar with all my ways” (Psalm 139:1, 3).

A child growing up in a loving home never questions his place in the family. He asks his parents for whatever he needs without a blush of self-consciousness, trusting them to supply it. His sense of security allows him to try new roles and venture out into new experiences. He knows if he fails he can come home and be comforted. As he learns what works in the context of being fully accepted the child grows and matures into someone who can in turn support others. This is God’s desire for all families, but only under His care does it become a reality. If we will let Him, He will welcome us home.

Once lost. Now found.

Before we were born again we were lost. Scripture describes it in this way: “At that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of promise, without hope and without God in the world” (Ephesians 2:12). We were like orphans, without the parental care of loving parents. We didn’t feel fully welcomed anywhere, with anyone, and we assumed we had to work hard to be accepted in the world. At our lowest points, we wondered why we’d ever been born.

We longed for a safe place where we would not be questioned, as Angelou said, but we figured that was just a pipe dream … something too good to be true. We coped with life by staying busy and distracted. We seldom thought about how alone we felt.

“But now,” Paul continues, “in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace” (Ephesians 2:13). Jesus freely offered himself as the reconciler … “the one mediator between God and men” (1 Timothy 2:5). In Him we are welcomed just as we are into God’s family.

Jesus came to earth to bring us home!

“To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God – children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God” (John 1:12, NIV) “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1).

Children of God! I’m sure over time we lose the wonder, the joy, of this amazing reality. I have a home. There I am accepted “as is.” I can grow and develop into someone who sees the world as Jesus saw it. No matter how difficult my life becomes, I can run to the comfort of home and find what I need in the presence of my heavenly Father. He is committed to seeing me flourish under His care.

Sometimes we think we have to wait till we die and reach heaven to feel at home with God. After all, here on earth we fall short of our Father’s expectations. Often we don’t reflect His family values. We listen when voices of the world say “You can’t trust God to continue to receive you as is; you need to perform and prove yourself worthy of His attention.”

Satan whispers all kinds of lies to God’s children. He wants to make us miserable, questioning whether we are accepted by God or not. He can’t kill us, but he does all he can to sabotage our new life in Christ, robbing us of joy and peace.

But what is the truth?  

• You were born into God’s family through new birth, not your own efforts. God’s Spirit gave you access to all the privileges of being His child. (Galatians 3:26-29; 4:6-7)
• Your relationship with God doesn’t depend on your faithfulness … it is based on His. (1 Corinthians 1:9; 2 Timothy 2:13)
• At whatever stage you find yourself, you are accepted and loved as is. You can’t earn more of God’s love or deserve the grace extended to you in Christ.
• You have God’s divine nature living in you. (Romans 8:9-14; 2 Peter 1:4) That means you can live in the power of His Spirit. You need not disappoint Him, yourself, or others. When you sin, repentance restores your relationship with the Father. He promises to forgive you. (1 John 1:9)

The refuge of home is always available to us because we carry the lifeblood of Jesus with us. His intimate life with the Father is available to us as well … anytime, anyplace. All we need to do is lift the eyes of our hearts to Him. Henri Nouwen puts it this way:

 “When God has become our shepherd, our refuge, our fortress, then we can reach out to Him in the midst of a broken world and feel at home while still on the way.”

We can relax at home.

Performing and competing are out of place in a loving home. My brother has many more gifts and talents than me, but I never resented him for them. I knew I had my own place in the family; I didn’t need to compare my life with his. I could enjoy his accomplishments and successes with him because they didn’t diminish who I was.

This is the kind of relationship God hopes we will develop with our spiritual brothers and sisters. In God’s family we are all accepted and valued because we belong to Christ. We don’t have to prove anything. We just need to launch out in the power of His Spirit to do what He’s called us to do without comparing ourselves to others in the family. Spiritual gifts and callings are not the way we determine our worth or value to God.

“To each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:7). We are in the family of God not just to be personally blessed but to be a blessing. The good of our family and its influence in the world is determined by how each individual in the family responds to one another. As Jesus said to the twelve, “By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).

No matter how you grew up, let your new identity in Christ be the underlying foundation for your life. Meet the world with the security of being loved and accepted by Him. This viewpoint will transform our Christian work and give witness to the world that there is a home for them too. Everyone is welcome. Jesus made the way. In Him you are home. So enjoy the journey.